When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
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