I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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