dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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