I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Is Oprah even human
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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