so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
