He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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