3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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