Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
