Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
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