Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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