lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
