it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I wish i was in the wii world.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
