weddingsv make me drug and hornr
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
The Olympian is in my bed
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
