He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
