any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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