I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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