I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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