I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
We're too hungover to prance.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
