Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
