Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
