Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
