Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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