No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
