he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
