If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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