We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
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