Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize