2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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