Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
