My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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