wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
