Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize