mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
try to milk me bitch
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