We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
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