I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize