Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
