Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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