I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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