btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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