It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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