I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
