Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
He kissed a someone with a penis
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
