I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
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