I'm drive I can fine osifer
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize