I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
