I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
