Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
