your room smells of hookers.
And success
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
