Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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