i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Less talking, more tequila
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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