I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize