He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
