OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
