Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
