Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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