living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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