I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
