So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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