Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
You've changed since you got that strap on
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