I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
farters have to be the big spoon...
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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