Plan B is the new Plan A
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Randomize
