You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
there's paper in my vomit.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
