I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
