I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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