Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
