he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
