Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Randomize
