I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
