yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
