You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize