btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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