I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize