Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
