Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
