If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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